You know, in many ways a lot was accomplished this week, but in other ways, my frustration has just grown. I’ve wanted to get writing all week, and it just hasn’t happened. Where has the week gone? It just seems to vanish. One day photos, one day internet, one day meetings and another day with silly errands…. another day revisiting an old job I thought was complete and finally some stress over contracts I just don’t feel comfortable with.
I suppose its good that I am utterly frustrated and just wanting to write and do nothing else any more. Its like pulling back on a slingshot and reaching back with a knife to now cut the chord and just launch me forward.
I just hope I have a direction to go when I finally cut the metaphorical chord and let myself loose…
It just feels kind of ridiculous at the moment…
At least Coras enthusiasm is there to hold me up through the doubts… thank God for her patience.
Where the hell did all this fear come from all of a sudden? I am starting to doubt my functionality as a person. I think sometimes I am way to sensitive to handle the world and wish I could just lock myself away in a cabin on my own to come out to get my groceries and then go back to my little slice of peace…. but I guess the real world doesn’t work like that.
Am I going to have to simplify further and remove more distraction? there is not a lot left…. I guess I go to bed feeling lost and alone, hoping that the morning brings some enthusiasm and clarity.