After what seems like an eternity, I got to sit down again today at the piano and start on the concerto again. I’ve been away from it for over a month, and where at first I was nervous about the separation, now I’m seeing a benefit to it.
My mind is feeling very clear, but unfortunately my schedule hasn’t been for the last few weeks. Its been very frustrating trying to get to a place where I can write. I spoke with my old composition mentor Ladislav Kubik on Wednesday again and we have a formative plan to meet in July in Prague. When I asked him how his summer was going so far, he lamented that he was trying to get to a place where he could write, but has had a lot of things going on preventing him from getting there, like re-flooring two rooms in his house.
I had to laugh, because it sounded like a mirror image of my life in a way. It also brought a morbid sense of relief that he goes through it too. He was telling me that he is trying to get working on a piece, and will tell me more about it when he sees me in Prague in July. He assures me it is not a violin concerto!
I’m thinking of going to see him in July – I was originally going to go on the CASMI composition course to see him, but now, it seems its that its only for a week at the end of the month. Thats fine – I think it will be more focused anyway.
I’m also trying to find out more about my residency at the Tyrone Guthrie Centre. I’ve got 2 weeks to spend there, and I think I’ve finally decided to spit it in half and spend a week there before going to PRague and maybe a week afterwards. I just like the idea of sections of focused writing. I need all the focus and structure I can find right now, and this is an opportunity to layer it over me for the next few months.
I called in to see Cora at the end of last week and it was great to see her. Her pregnancy is coming along nicely and it reminded me of the marching of time, watching her progress. We went through a lot of the music again and it was interesting because we both had a different emotional experience listening to the music this time than we remember when we did our playing last time. It was not expected!
Anyway, enough time has passed that the concertos I was indulging in earlier in the year are out of my head, and I’m a clean slate to draw in my own fresh musical concepts for our piece. I think what I’m enjoying discovering is how Cora makes her violin resonate, and trying to take advantage of that as much as I can. I’m planning on sitting down tomorrow and writing chant for the piece, but also listening back to the recordings we made to see which music phrases sing most through her.
I was looking back over some of the footage today as it was coming into the hard drives and had to laugh at myself – I think about things way to much… I know it, and it comes across on the video. There is nothing like a hard cruel look at yourself to knock you into shape, is there?